Do you want to be a writer?
Do you have a book inside you?
Not sure where to start?
Step 1 plan your book in a one day WRITERS’ WORKSHOP
Courses with Betty Rudd, run in UK and Cyprus annually. Please let us know (email below) if you would like to be informed of future course dates. The next opportunity is on Sunday 27thJanuary 2019 from 10am to 4.30pm, in Larnaca Cyprus
Betty Rudd PhD will lead you through her 1-day method for planning a book, which she has used to create and have published over 30 books and games. Use the method for books, articles, blogs and business posts. All are welcome, from novice to seasoned writer.
By the end of the day, expect to have your unique book-plan ready.
Availability: Places are limited to 12 so book early to avoid disappointment.
Cost: 97 euros for the day (or 97 sterling pounds).
What others say about Betty Rudd’s trainings
“Fun”. “A depth and breadth of knowledge and understanding clearly conveyed”. “Memorable and inspiring”. “Happy atmosphere”. “Interactive”. “Idiot proof”. “Smiling on the inside and on the outside”. “Not just what to do, but how to do it”. “Warm person, hot advice”. “Practical hands-on tips I can use immediately”. “Inspirational”.
9 reasons to attend:
- It is the only 2019 event planned for Cyprus where Betty will lead this workshop
- Book-writing myths busted
- Most importantly, she will be showing you how you can do it for yourself
- You are guaranteed to put pen to paper and be given tips on how to promote your book
- Secrets of rapid book writing for publication revealed; see what every author should have
- Take home important web-site addresses to help you
- Get hands-on experience in planning your book
- Practical information of immediate use
- Learn how to find a publisher for your book
Booking deadline: Wednesday 16thJanuary 2019
Book now by contacting Tracey, email: <firstname.lastname@example.org>
(please put WRITERS in thesubject line)
or telephone 0044(0)1444 416911
The venue’s full address will be sent with confirmation of your booking.
As a friend of mine says: ‘Remain open to higher inspiration.’
trust & courage
Have the trust and courage to open up your life and live your dream.
Mindfulness or ‘mindful meditation’ is a type of meditation that works on the mind. It is very easy to do and will help to achieve a calm and stable mind and allow mental contentment, peace and harmony through various areas of life. I co-created the field-tested Mindful Moments with an educational psychologist and a teacher. Here’s the link:
This pack contains 52 Mindful Moments and an accompanying booklet which outlines ways to use the cards in a variety of environments including schools, hospitals, care homes, special schools, prisons, work settings, youth clubs – all will benefit from taking time out to consider moments triggered by the cards. Therapists are increasingly incorporating mindfulness into their practice. For example, psychotherapists and counselling psychologists are applying mindfulness techniques alongside or as part of other established techniques such as cognitive behavioural therapy.
Examples of card content include:
• Is one hand hotter than the other?
• Notice how you are in this moment.
• Notice your beating heart.
• What feels calm in your body?
Grounded in respect, compassion, acceptance and non-judgement, Mindful Moments can lead to noticeable benefits for the individual and the social dynamics of their environment.
Being mindful is about having awareness of the here-and-now, rather than the past or future.
The Blessing of the Sun
The sun’s blessing shines on us.
When I was a psychology student I felt the need for a jargon-free book that took me by the hand and guided me, step by step, via a reliable route, through the field of Psychopathology. Many years later, I was commissioned me to write such a book. I am looking for trainees in the field of psychology, so that they can benefit from it. Here’s the link (sharing this is much appreciated):
‘Introducing Psychopathology’ explains how to describe and diagnose client problems in clear, accessible language, demystifying the concept of psychopathology and revealing it as an integral aspect of training and practice. The book is entirely comprehensive in its coverage of client problems, groups, methods of assessment, up-to-date research and settings,
• covering crucial topics from assessment and diagnosis to the clinical symptoms of emotional distress, including severe or enduring disorders like schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder
• providing a framework for psychiatric diagnosis and classification and covering risk assessment in detail
• concluding with a chapter on holistic approaches and emotional wellbeing.
Case studies and exercises throughout the book make sense of the theory in real-life practice and the author’s enthusiasm for her subject makes for a uniquely engaging, readable guide to the complexities of psychopathologies.
Introducing Psychopathology helps in the understanding of: the causes of mental health problems, how the problems are classified, their developmental course, symptoms and remedies; in the book I also show powerfully evidence-based avenues for the future of mental health care beyond psychopathology. Here’s a link for your convenience:
For when your internal life’s troubling you, I offer a few tips to help relieve that mental distress:
· Notice the big picture rather than focus on one detail
· Be aware of reality rather than try to block it out
· Overall, eat & drink healthily
· Listen to your gut-sense
· Bad things happen, know that good things do too
Evidence-based benefits of relaxing:
· Reduces heart-rate
· Lowers blood pressure
· Slows down breathing
· Increases flow of blood
· Reduces tiredness
· Boosts energy
· Improves concentration
· Makes mood better
Loneliness be gone
You are not by yourself: No need to struggle through the journey of your life alone. Simply co-operate.
Living doesn’t have to be about racing through where there can only be one winner. The others are not losers. Everyone has something to offer! So, live life authentically.
If we distract ourselves we don’t have to face our lives, but this does not solve any problems. Confront them. Design the life you want rather than living the way someone else wants you to.
To do this, the first step is being aware of where you are at, knowing your personal values rather than somebody else’s. Focus on what you love. Just be!
Choose how you live every moment. Do you choose competitiveness or being co-operative? Your belief is your root; nurture it so that your tree of life grows positive fruit.
How? Use the past as your teacher, not as a dictator. What does your soul thrive on? Don’t you know? Not knowing’s OK. The answer will emerge. Live from a place of love!
Thank you dear Abundance Code for inspiring me to share this.
FIND PEACE WITHIN
Support your youngsters in developing emotional literacy! Here are a few of the ways you can do it:
i) Help your youngsters name whatever emotions they are experiencing so that they can grow up with the ability of identifying and owning them.
ii) Do not only name the emotion, but also explain its context and how it affects others.
iii) Ask your children to describe what they are feeling, draw or write about it.
iv) Let your children hear you talk about what you’re feeling.
v) Allow them to perceive your own emotional intelligence.
vi) Permit them to see how you get over your difficult emotions.
vii) Remember to also talk about your positive emotions.
viii) Sense the mood of different places, spaces and weathers.
ix) Discuss how various situations can make each of you feel different.
x) Ask your youngsters what mood they glean from what or who’s around them.
By doing so, your daughters and sons will grow up better able to understand their emotions, those of others and how to deal with them healthily. Helping kids develop emotional literacy while growing up, as adults they’ll be better prepared in managing their personal, social and professional lives; as well as connecting with others – important for a healthy mind.
· Use calming breaths
· Be well-hydrated
· Enlist the help of a person you trust
· Eat nutritiously
· Include pleasurable activities in your daily life
· Dodge drugs
· Take proper self-care
· Think realistically helpful thoughts
· Relax satisfactorily
· Face your fear
· Exercise adequately
· Use grounding techniques, such as touching what’s around you, to stay in the here-and-now
Just a thought
How lovely it’d be if on every Father’s Day, dads offered each of their children a nice present (can be an apt poem recited, an unexpected smile given or something else that might be special).
No matter what, have compassion.
Alice Bailey’s books were written with the cooperation of a Tibetan teacher. The Lucis Trust has much information about Alice. Although her works have impacted on my life, I never met the woman; she died before I knew about her. One thing I discovered for myself which concurs with one of her notions is that the arts, is a powerful key for culture-change. If you’re reading this you may be interested in the fun little book ‘seven rays for seven chakras’ (I found it on Amazon).
Falling and loud noises –
Consensus is that these two fears are the only ones we are born with; any others are learnt. A few of the most common phobias are:
· Fear of spiders
· Social phobia
· Fear of heights
To bust phobia, face your fear taking one little step at a time.
Focussing on Happiness
How about putting focus on making others happy?
Do you have a fear that is disproportionate to the posed danger? If so, you may be suffering from a phobia. Here are a few phobia-busting tips:
· Repeatedly expose yourself to whatever you fear, in a gradual way
· Make your first step into exposure small rather than big, so that you can do it
· Remember to relax
· Speak positively in a realistic way to yourself
· To track how you are doing, keep an Exposure Diary
The more you become familiar to being in the fear situation, the easier it becomes.
Closing the door with a peaceful heart
Close the door to your past, with peace in your heart.
love is healthy
Love makes us healthier and happier.
Worry Be Gone!
For eliminating unmanageable anxiety, I wrote: Generalised anxiety disorder self-help: how to get rid of uncontrollable worry. Here’s the link:
If you suffer from general anxiety, a way of helping yourself is to involve all your senses positively; the following can help:
· Movement: take a walk on the sunny side of the pavement
· Sight: Look at plants, the trees and flowers; enjoy the pleasure of seeing them
· Sound: Listen to relaxing music and be in-the-moment while hearing it
· Smell: Sniff an aroma you like, for example, a rose or coffee
· Taste: Ingest something that pleases you, it may be a strawberry or herbal tea
· Touch: Feel something pleasurable against your skin, perhaps by stroking a pet
“Research is formalized curiosity. It is poking and prying with a purpose. ” -Zora Neale Hurston
May your vision be clear and believable! This makes it easier to share and for others to support you. Goals are in the mind first, then, strategies towards achieving them can be put into action.
Be true to yourself, rather than try to be what you think outer forces want you to be, which so often leads to a form of anxiety. Rather than hide who you are, behind a mask, be in-tune with your own marvellous being, love yourself and follow your dream… Go for it! Put vision into action. Still feeling anxious? If you are, in particular if you have panic attacks, I’ve written a self-help book. It’s ‘Anxiety disorder, self-help for panic attack: workbook for panic attacks’. Link:
Loving relationships do more for your health than anything else. Connect with a relative, a neighbour, a colleague, a friend, – someone… More than one, build your connections lovingly and nurture them every day.
· Talk to someone you trust with disclosing your most difficult emotions
· Accept what is happening
· Face your fear
· Relax physically
· Breath fully and easily
· Join a support group to hear how others cope
HUG OFTEN DAILY
Do hug because a true heart-to-heart-pressing hug for 20 seconds for at least 8 times every day can:
· Reduce blood pressure
· Release oxytocin (the happy hormone) quicker than anything else
· Decrease cortisol (the stress hormone)
· Make you feel good
· Help you bond socially
· Weaken fear
· Lessen heart-beats per minute
· Diminish feeling lonely
· Make your body less tense
· Send calming messages to your brain
· Heal sickness
· Remedy depression
· Alleviate anger
· Elevate mood
· Produce happiness
· Relax muscles
· Boost self-esteem
· Balance out the nervous system
· Encourage understanding
Virginia Satir, a respected family therapist, said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.”
1 of 7 on anxiety
This is the first book I wrote, in the series of seven, on different aspects of anxiety:
Anxiety disorder self-help: GAD, health anxiety, OCD panic attack, phobia and PTSD.
READ MORE HERE
10 tips for dealing with anxiety:
1. breathe more easily
2. accept what you cannot change
3. don’t ruminate
4. think positively
5. eat healthily
6. keep good company
7. exercise regularly
8. sleep well
9. be grateful
10. help others
Choose earth seeds wisely so that you are nourished.
Might you have OCD?
To help yourself:
· Accept that you have your thoughts without clinging onto them as if what you are thinking are facts
· Relax as much as you can when feeing nervous because it is not possible to experience deep relaxation and negative stress simultaneously
· Regularly and often, face whatever triggers your obsessive compulsion – this is key
I’ve written a self-help book specifically for OCD!
Anxiety self-help for obsessive compulsive disorder: anxiety self-help workbook for OCD – HERE’S THE LINK
How to identify an obsessive compulsive problem
OCD is a mental problem where people have unpleasant thoughts, urges or fantasies that are unwanted and repeated in the mind resulting in anxiety. As well as this, these individuals are compelled to conduct precise, unrealistic and repeated behaviours that they use as strategies for coping, even though these actions are in fact unhelpful.
Most of us know that eating nutritiously, getting satisfactory sleep and exercise is good for our physical health. What do you think is good for psychological well-being?
I’ve written this for those with OCD: Anxiety self-help for obsessive compulsive disorder: anxiety self-help workbook for OCD
Very happy to share that my ‘Health Anxiety Self-help’ is available to pre-order on Amazon. Please pass on this information because it can help many individuals who hurt themselves intentionally –HERE’S THE LINK
Health Anxiety Self-help!
I’m delighted to inform you today that my book is now available for pre-order, and hope that you can pass on the message so that it helps oh so many who self-harm. HERE’S THE LINK
At last, my seventh book in the ‘anxiety’ series is to be launched on 20th April 2016. Yippee! Trusting it’ll help loads of individuals – Here’s the title ‘Health Anxiety Self-help workbook for hypochondriasis disorder’.
PANIC ATTACK is not necessarily Panic Disorder
Due to the physical symptoms of a panic attack, sufferers often think that they are having a heart attack when they are not. Having one or two panic attacks does not lead to a purported anxiety disorder, but if many are experienced, then this can lead to ‘panic disorder’. In such a case, the sufferer worries about occurring ‘attacks’ and acts differently; for example, stays away from locations where a panic attack was previously experienced.
Hate and forgiveness
Hatred is oh so toxic; be courageous enough to forgive.
Peace and empowerment
Experiencing inner peace is empowering.
Alive and breathing
Simply love the immediate present just because you have life and you have breath.
Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn says that to live your life fully you must be present in it.
I’ve written a book for those who feel generally anxious. It’s called ‘Generalised anxiety disorder self-help: how to get rid of uncontrollable worry’. Here’s the link to it (please share now so that those who might need this support can benefit from it sooner rather than later):
Worried for a realistic reason or suffering from anxiety?
For most of us, worrisome times are not restrictive because going through a troubled period is part of life and we weather the storm. This is normal. Yet for a few, being anxious about what has happened, or what might happen, causes stress overload and we may suffer from what some call, ‘GAD’. These are the individuals I’ve written a specific self-help book for.
Think happy thoughts daily.
If interested in help for a phobia, see my book ‘Phobia anxiety workbook: phobic disorder self-help’. HERE’S THE LINK
Phobia be gone
Behaving differently works for even the most severe phobia: Gradual exposure to what is feared helps a great deal. The secret to success is to step away from the exposure only when the fear has subsided.
May the renewing powers of spring, fill us.
If you’re interested in help for PTSD, or you know someone who might be, I’ve written a self-help book for it – and am looking to spread the word: Post-traumatic stress anxiety workbook: self-help for PTSD HERE’S THE LINK
PET for PTSD
Evidentially, the best way to get rid of post-traumatic stress disorder completely is known as ‘prolonged exposure therapy’ (PET). If you want to know more details about how this works, I have written about it in the self-help book for PTSD, which is part of a series of books on specific anxieties.
Tips for dealing with anxiety
· Ask yourself, ‘Is what I’m thinking about true or in my imagination?’
· Face your fear
· Accept that worrying sometimes is normal
· Take a few deep breaths
· View your thoughts as passing clouds rather than facts
I’ve written about manners, tongue in cheek, in my little book,
A professor at Johns Hoskins University in Baltimore, Pier Forni, describes good manners as traffic lights for life: ‘They make it so that we don’t crash into one another in every day behaviour.’
Symbols at Easter (March 27 2016 is Easter Sunday in UK)
The butterfly’s complete life-cycle symbolises Jesus’ life.
The cross is the emblem for Jesus’ victory over death.
Easter eggs and little chicks symbolise new life; actually, it is the chick emerging from the cracked egg that represents new life or re-birth.
Eggs are also a symbol of springtime and have been since pre-Christian times; indeed, any baby animal born in the spring is representative of springtime and a new life.
The bunny rabbit or hare characterises abundance and is a reminder of new life in springtime.
White blossoms represent Jesus’ purity, life and resurrection.
The lamb is meant to be ‘the lamb of God’, Jesus.
Icing in the shape of a cross on top of hot cross buns, is a reminder of Jesus Christ.
Palm branches are the trade mark for Palm Sunday.
The candle represents ‘the Light of the world’, Jesus.
The world and your heart
When the world around you is hard-hitting, keep your heart kind.
unwind refresh energise
To Be Fat-free or Not To Be Fat-free?
According to Dr Esselstyn, a fat-free diet is the healthiest way to eat if you have any cardio-vascular health problems. He declares that even olive oil is best omitted! I think that this is controversial because from my understanding, even Dr Ornish is not this strict any more. I look for and welcome your helpful comments (especially when backed-up by good-enough research on humans rather than animals)!
Reverse Heart Disease
Dr Esselstyn declares that heart disease can be reversed, as does Dr Ornish! You may like to read The China Study by Campbell, and or How to Reverse Heart Disease (Ornish). If you prefer a DVD to reading, take a look at Forks Over Knives. Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease, is Esselstyn’s book. These are resources I’ve found useful and want to share the information in case it benefits you.
Fill what’s missing
May whatever you feel is missing in your life, and that you very much want, be filled.
How I introduce psychopathology
I discuss assessment and referral skills, to help in understanding clinical manifestations of severe emotional distress and offer guidelines on appropriate interventions. In Introducing Psychopathology I also show how psychiatric diagnosis and classifications are arrived at, including the more common forms of mental distress, for example, anxiety and eating problems. Also, I introduce the more controversial diagnoses, such as schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder. Landscaped with learning objectives, points of reflection, student exercises, case vignettes and chapter summaries – I’m told it makes an engaging read.
HERE’S THE LINK
When I was a student I yearned for a jargon-free, simply written and comprehensive book on mental distress. I delighted when Sage commissioned me to write such a book! In it (Introducing Psychopathology), I also deconstruct the concept of psychopathology, to help you think more deeply and independently about mind-problems. I also offer fresh hope with a new vision for the best way of dealing with mental distress. How to put this vision into action is shown with cutting-edge research findings and practice-based evidence, leading to a distilled action-plan offering guidelines which government can put into place in a step-by-step way.
Being mindful is highly relevant
The ancient Buddhist art of mindfulness amplifies insight, lucidity, non-judgement and warm positive regard. It’s highly relevant in today’s western part of the world where judgement seems to abound while awareness is apparently dulled. So, I developed the field-tested ‘Mindful Moments’ cards with a psychologist and a teacher, to be used repeatedly, daily, for even just a few moments, practically anywhere.
Here is a link to follow-through with, if you are looking for a simple way of incorporating being mindful in your daily life:
Being mindful is good for mental and physical health.
See with the heart
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
— Antione de Saint-Exupery
Here’s a link to my latest co-written book, it’s for couples. Please pass on the link/info before Valentine’s Day:
Who was Saint Valentine?
He may have been two people! One account in the fifteenth century, describes Valentine as a man who was beheaded because he secretly married couples who wanted a Christian marital union. A different account states that he was the Bishop of Terni who was martyred by Claudius. Indeed, twelve Saint Valentines are documented. Saints have many earthly duties during their ‘after-life’. One of Saint Valentine’s is to watch over lovers. He is also known as the patron saint of engaged couples and a happy marriage. It is purported that the Skull of Valentine is on display in Rome. Having said that, Chaucer may have made up Saint Valentine and created the ‘holiday’ because there is no record of Valentine’s Day until Chaucer wrote about it. St Valentine can be celebrated several times annually, not just on 14 February!
FRESH and FRAGRANT
Be as fresh as a sea breeze and as fragrant as citrus blossom.
The importance of emotional intelligence for teenagers
As teenagers develop their emotional intelligence (EI), they’ll learn to deal with their emotions healthily therefore tend to lead an overall happy and successful life, being able to deal with conflict resolution, see the other person’s perspective, handle stress appropriately and maintain their well being. So, I created these field-tested games in order to help players aged thirteen years to adult, develop their EI. My strong recommendation is that the 10 card-games are purchased as a set so that you can shuffle the cards altogether before you start playing with them in order to develop each one of the ten areas of emotional literacy simultaneously, in a fun way. Here are useful links to them:
1. Awareness card game (1 of a set of 10) LINK
2. Communication game (2 of a set of 10) LINK
3. Compassion card game (3 of a set of 10) LINK
4. Handling emotion card game (4 of a set of 10) LINK
5. Anger Management card game (5 of a set of 10) LINK
6. Problem solving card game (6 of a set of 10) LINK
7. Relating card game (7 of a set of 10) LINK
8. Responsibility card game (8 of a set of 10) LINK
9. Self-image card game (9 of a set of 10) LINK
10. Stress control card game (10 of a set of 10) LINK
Teen emotional literacy
By developing in emotional literacy, teenagers can learn to master their emotions. This skill is good not only for their overall happiness but also for their future success in personal and professional life. If, for instance, they can see the other person’s perspective, they are more likely to be able to deal with conflict resolution. Also, by having insight into their own emotions, they can communicate their feelings more effectively. Now think about the importance of being able to handle stress. The person who can manage stress healthily is the one who’ll probably have the ability to maintain personal wellness. So, it’s important for teens to develop their emotional literacy.
My field-tested co-operative games
‘Special games; adaptable activities for personal and social development’ (ERA award-winner for Best Educational Book of the Year 2012-2013). I created this book’s split-page design for facilitating teachers and facilitators to rapidly plan appropriate and exciting sessions tailored for each group’s needs on every occasion. I designed it for you to choose from a wide range of interactive and co-operative games in three categories: warm-up, energetic, calming. Each game can be played in less than five minutes, and any combination may be used to make a rewarding session. For players, I’m told that these games are often the highlight of the school day. HERE’S THE LINK
“Health is based on happiness-from hugging and clowning around to finding joy in family and friends, satisfaction in work, and ecstasy in nature and the arts.” – Patch Adams
Responsibility for humans
Each of us is responsible for all of humankind.
— Dalai Lama
Knowing and not knowing ourselves
We know what we are but know not what we may be.
Develop Your Child’s Life Skills
An important part of being a parent is teaching your child empathy and all facets of being emotionally literate. Due to this, I created the field-tested card-game ‘Developing Life Skills’ (the cards help youngsters aged 8 to 12 years increase their EQ in ten crucial aspects of emotional literacy).
Here’s a link to it
This game, is designed to be played time after time. In doing so, children will become more confident, cooperative and be able to practice making positive choices. Consequently, they’ll develop their sense of worthiness, empowering them in a fun way to deal better with whatever life summons.
The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
If we are emotionally intelligent enough, we can manage our stress levels healthily and consequently stay well.
Elevated emotional intelligence (EQ) corresponds to a heartening overall viewpoint and therefore a more joyful life-approach.
With good enough EQ we know what our emotions are and communicate them clearly, we are also able to comprehend what others feel and what kind of impact we have on them, so enabling us to have more robust and satisfying relationships.
Being emotionally intelligent enables us to understand how to meet the needs of others.
We are able to, either negotiate conflict within a situation or even avoid it because of our skill in appreciating others.
EQ is raised, by expanding our emotional literacy.
GENEROSITY KINDNESS COMPASSION
Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.
Release and enjoy
Let go of negative stress and enjoy the moment.
Love yourself, look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself, with a smile, ‘I love you’. Each person wants to be loved. Don’t be hard on yourself. Break out of the prison of your attitude and enjoy the loving freedom in your heart. We can all do this, by being highly skilled in mastering our moods healthily. It’s one of the reasons I’ve created so many games on dealing with emotions, for different age groups. I know someone who looks in the mirror every morning and gives herself a wink with a smile!
Be social, it’s healthy
Happy New Year! Are you partying? Being sociable is good for your health, improves leadership qualities, and enables you to have a sense of belonging. Playing the Rainbow board game, which I was inspired to create after my doctoral research, helps facilitate these qualities while having fun and developing friendships. HERE’S A LINK TO IT
Not unusual for it to rear its head at this time of year. What do you do as a buffer against being depressed?
What do we perceive?
If we keep dwelling on the darkness, do we even notice the light?
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple.
So many experiences in life can disillusion us, and other experiences bring warmth to our hearts. My hope is that the books I write support more heart-warming experiences while decreasing disillusionment. Here is a link to my recently finished workbook, co-written with psychologist Gaylin Tudhope, ‘How to become the perfect couple’.
Origin of common Christmas symbols
Many already know that the genesis of Santa Clause is in Saint Nicholas; he was the Saint who gave disadvantaged youngsters, gifts.
Vitality, romance and fertility were symbolised by mistletoe, before Christianity.
Boxing Day emerged from St Stephen’s Day; the first Christian Martyr was St Stephen.
Carols stemmed from the first Christian hymns, later becoming songs that were sung at community events to celebrate festivals, then singing them door-to-door at Christmas time became popular.
The decorated evergreen is rooted in pre-Christian times, symbolising immortal life and courage in adversity.
Wreaths pre-date written history, they symbolise persistence and indestructibility.
The tradition of stockings filled with presents reaches back to pagan belief of leaving out shoes full of straw and carrots for Odin’s horse, and when the horse ate those, Odin would leave sweets with other presents inside the shoes.
The X in Xmas is the Greek letter chi, which is the first letter of Christ’s name in Greek and is now, in Orthodox Christianity, a holy symbol representing Jesus.
Some believe that offering gifts at Christmas started with the three wise men each giving Jesus a present.
Christmas day is celebrated as the date that Jesus was born but the specific date and time of his birth are unknown.
Does our soul need restoring?
Who were we born to be? Passion and creativity, so wild this year, are having their rest time, quietly restoring balance in life.
Fire and psychopathology
A candle, an open fire, I am drawn to quietly looking at the flame. Ah, I am thankful for this. It feels cleansing, in a psychologically healing way. What’s my self-image? Perhaps I’ll play my Self-image game http://www.speechmark.net/search/self-image rudd
Someone once said to me: ‘What’s the difference between a robot and a person? Emotional intelligence.’
An affectionate character
Having an affectionate character makes you shine!
Christmas Day & Boxing Day are the 2 x bank holidays we’ve in UK during December. Depression is common during the festive season, so what’s a way of coping?
One way is making a plan so that you can link with at least one other person at around that time. If finances are an issue, it’s a good idea to self-set a money-spending boundary and stick to it, so that there is no over-spending.
Recognise your emotions so that they don’t suddenly erupt like a volcano.
Feeling miserable? Make your own festivity, rather than try for the impossible that the media ‘feeds’ us.
Having a walk in the fresh air helps.
So does helping the less fortunate.
Perhaps look at a picture of a loved one (it may bring tears to your eyes – that’s OK).
Remember to take good care of your own self!
Aspire to think in a positive way – this is not easy if depressed.
Write about your feelings in a diary, this has been shown to be helpful if feeling down.
It’s fine to seek support from another person (such as your GP) ahead of the Bank Holidays, for reviewing how you’ll cope.
I trust that my material is useful: Here’s a link to the newest self-help book that’ll be launched shortly (the most recent, and will be released on 11 December 2015). Since many divorces happen over the Christmas holidays, this is a workbook for couples:
How to become the Perfect couple LINK
For many who suffer with post traumatic stress this is a very difficult time. So, this link is to the new workbook for PTSD that is very recently released:
This link’s for that new self-help book for phobia:
This links to my new workbook for panic attacks:
For OCD self-help, this is my workbook Anxiety: Self-Help for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which Amazon recently released, here is the link:
Importantly, remember to build a bank of happy memories for yourself, starting from now.
Yesterday I felt so vulnerable after a car hit mine as I was driving home!
Today, such a sense of elation’s come over me because the book that’s taken YEARS to co-write is to be launched by Amazon as an kindle edition on 11th December. It’s called HOW TO BECOME THE PERFECT COUPLE.
I’ll remind you about it again, in my way… It might be a life-changing gift for someone you know, this workbook for couples. What do you think?
Help for stroke
I’ve read that social support for a stroke patient is considered to be a good influencer when it comes to psychological and even physical outcome.
Might you, if possible, please share some personal experience or witnessing of this happening? It’ll be much appreciated!
A loving heart and sound mentality makes you sparkle twinkle and shine.
Do you sense having an anxiety disorder? Let go of that. In it’s place:
Nurture your inner life.
Live with your soul!
Don’t let life crush it!
Be the splendid person you are!
There is big stillness in the air, without final death. Perhaps it’s time to look at my Introducing Psychopathology
Here we are
Here I am in winter, here you are. Have you slowed down? My writing’s slowed down noticeably this November. Perhaps it’s my body telling me something about learning to do as nature does at this time of year.
Let the arts lift you!
Have the courage to fail.
Stella Adler inspires me: ‘Awake and dream’.
We can relate with pure love
for a fuller understanding.
All Saints Eve is on 31 again this October. On 1 November it is the All Hallows Day, celebrated with a feast by some Christians.
‘In the beginning was the Word …’
Every time I read my manuscript I edit and re-edit until I just think ‘it’s good enough’ … but the book never seems perfect. Yet such a sense of achievement comes over me, just after I’ve sent it to the publisher. Am I like a hen, clucking louder after her egg is laid?
Here’s the link to my PTSD self-help book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Post-traumatic-Stress-Anxiety-Workbook-self-help-ebook/dp/B016NGFRAM/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1445341306&sr=1-10
Stella, still inspiring after death, RIP
Is anyone teaching Stella Adler’s techniques in UK? They can develop a person’s creativity dramatically.
Has your creativity been squashed? What happened? My latest book is on self-help for post-traumatic stress disorder. Due to be released soon, it can be pre-ordered so please share this because, those in need of specific support for PTSD can benefit from it:
I’m delighted that my latest book, to be launched next week, can be pre-ordered. Here’s the link:
post-traumatic stress disorder
Watch this space .. soon to be launched: my 6th self-help book in the series of seven on anxiety. This one’s on PTSD. Due to be released late October 2015.
post-traumatic stress disorder
Watch this space .. soon to be launched: my 6th self-help book in the series of seven on anxiety. This one’s on PTSD. Should be out in a week or so.
Am I living in the twilight time of year? Guess so…Trees are releasing their leaves. What gifts have I to share? The love in my heart! Your love, too, radiates through your quiet outer stillness.
Let’s communicate. What have I for you? There is the gift of my training and experience – in my products; for example, see the Communication game (for teens and adults) which is part of a series of ten card games I created and field tested over a hundred times: http://www.speechmark.net/search/rudd communication
Small is beautiful, and so is slow. It takes nine months to make a baby. She or he will come when ready, just as ripe fruit drops from a tree.
Care for and respect one another. If possible, be strong enough to serve. Accept gifts graciously. We live another day. There but for the grace of God, go I. Ask for the help you need, even if previously spurned.
A PROBLEM REMEMBERING WHERE THE KEYS ARE?
Loss of memory?
Particular plants shed their leaves or look dead. Have they forgotten when to have new ones or grow again? NO! What is nature teaching me? Not to keep buzzing about like a busy bee, but to re-assess my life. It is OK to stop for a while and reflect. This is the time for dreaming; for example, about positive possibilities that lie ahead. I suppose that inside me somewhere there is a remembering, even if I think I’ve forgotten.
Savvy individuals sometimes do foolish things.
Got a grip on life?
Plant-life is preparing its rest this fall. Let’s keep what is good in our lives, as we harvest nature’s offerings. Prepare for some personal rest time. I can do this; for example, by getting rid of my weeds in order to make space for ripe positivity that I can share.
As natural sunshine reduces, with light and dark tending to equalise around us, around me, let’s take the opportunity to meditate and be more mindful. There is no need to feel anxious about outwardly pausing. If anxiety happens to have a grip, you can take a look at one of the books I wrote about this: Perhaps the fifth in the series of seven books on anxiety? It’s a self-help book on phobia. Here’s the link:
A friend once said, ‘Have the grace to let go of the past.’
Think about taking stock, just as vegetation is preparing to have its fruits gleaned in the autumn.
“I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.”
Might you be scared of a pumpkin, flying in an aeroplane, a cushion, enclosed spaces, or suffer from any irrational fear? My new work-book for phobia can help:
Enjoy beauty; make your surroundings nice to your eye and yourself pleasing to look at, in your own way.
We are born to co-operate
The myth of the purely self-interested human … takes a hit. Empirical studies find that human behaviour is not selfish, but rather attuned to eliciting co-operation in social networks, rewarding co-operation and punishing free riders. (Eric Beinhocker, ‘The Origin of Wealth, Complexity, and the Radical Remaking of Economics’)
Is it polite to hang on or to let go? It depends. Yes, visit another person, hang on in there for a while, but do not overstay your welcome. Let go of your time together; there can be another time for you to get together.
During this month of September, plants are getting ready to let go, when the time is right. They have an inner wisdom about not hanging on for too long, but going when the time comes for their release. They are not stuck. Sometimes, we can become stuck, or believe that nothing will change, feel hopeless. Yet, there is hope. I deliberate on this in
“If laughter is the best medicine, let’s OD together.”
After re-reading Lipton’s research-findings-rich book that focuses on epigenetics, I’m looking for something completely different so I might have another fun-look at Seven Rays for Seven Chakras.
On this day, many people throughout the USA remember the attacks that are known as ‘9/11’.
Some individuals around the world are anxious at this very moment, irrespective of 9/11.
A few are over-worried, and these are the ones that my newest books can help, here are links to three of them:
this is a self-help book for phobias.
this is a self-help book for panic attacks.
this is a self-hep book for obsessive compulsive disorder.
Forgive each other, love each other: It is possible.
See nature and have a happy heart!
We learn from nature. For example, I’ve witnessed the way swallows build nests for nurturing their young in and have watched parent-swallows protect and feed their babies.
Good fathering and mothering makes my heart happy.
Feed your soul!
What’s a food for mine?
Doing lots outwardly! However, are we dealing with our inner emotions? This is so important for our well being! Might be time to see my Handling Emotion card game
What about dealing with deeper issues? Please see Introducing Psychopathology
I like Lipton’s ‘The Biology of Belief’ so much that I’ve started re-reading it. Why isn’t research like his firmly planted in the mainstream psyche yet? Getting from scientific evidence to general knowledge takes their time; this is a lesson for me to have more patience.
They develop into good citizens.
How are you? I’m feeling very active!
Summer and self-help for panic attacks
Why is summertime important? Well, it is the opposite to winter – We have the sunshine and all the life that it joyfully brings!
Some live less enjoyably than others and anxiety may be the problem, so I’m writing a series of books on anxiety. Here’s a link to the fourth one, it’s on panic attack:
Augustus Caesar re-named this month after himself.
Bernhardt, the most famous actress
Everything is active this summer, not just a memory of someone else’s memory, interconnecting me with passion for life, for the arts, but also a bringing to fruition of my purpose.
Let yourself thrive!
Plant life is thriving. No need to be anxious. See my book on anxiety;
any in the series of seven. Here’s a link to the fourth:
Are you a professional dealing with clients who are stressed? You can find a useful resource in Introducing Psychopathology for supporting them
“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm.
Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk.
Dance and sing to your music.
Embrace your blessings.
Make today worth remembering.” ~ Steve Maraboli
So many of us in Europe take a holiday in August; but it is also the month that Kuwait was invaded by Iraq, the US bombed Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and when the first world war began – during this holiday period let’s not forget our history. But don’t let it make anxiety get a grip; rather, use the opportunity for emanating pure love. Looking for help with anxiety? Here are links to three of my series of seven on the subject:
Please pass on the above information so that it has a chance of getting into the hands of individuals who might benefit from it or who may use the resources to help another.
Increase your healing energy and amend destructive ways.
How is it that I feel so fully aware, like a totally open flower? Well, I’ve outgrown that me who was young. Does it mean I’m old? Let’s not get stressed about this. We don’t want high blood pressure! Certainly, I do not feel old. So, perhaps I’m not … yet. Maybe it’s that time of year, with the sun’s energy very giving. Whatever age, this summer, let the heart dance with gay abandon, like a big blossom in a cool and gentle breeze.
Who ignites you?
Stanislavski and Bernhart excite me! RIP.
Here’s the link to my self-help phobia workbook:
Let’s do more exploring
We can get a handle on stress by changing our mind ‘The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his or her life by altering her or his attitudes of mind’ William James.
Do you lecture about distress? I ask you to include this book on the reading lists for your students: Introducing Psychopathology
(A friend of mine shared a quote, I like it so here it is:)
Gaining enlightenment is an accident. Spiritual practice simply makes us accident prone. —Suzuki Roshi
Stay healthy on holiday!
What to do next? So many choices; therefore rejecting plenty’s needed. Consideration is key for choosing wisely.
Whenever I turn my face sunwards, I feel as if I’m on holiday. I absorb a healthy dose of vitamin D too. Too much of this life-giving sun can have nasty consequences. Consider when to carry on, stop, start or choose something different. We can use our understanding for making a wise choice.
Let’s make our transitions with grace.
Learn to keep your cool graciously; so if you do get tizzy, you might like to see my new book: Self-help for Panic Attack: workbook for panic attacks
Here’s the link:
July in UK
In UK at least, July is known as a good month for eating fresh salads, having picnics and getting up earlier in the mornings.
A meditative time for reflecting nourishes my very being. Have a go, and another go at it and another and so on – practically, daily. Just be patient with a positive attitude towards your own self by being kind and compassionate; you can find these qualities radiating warmly and non-judgementally through you towards others, irrespective of their actions. If meditating within a group, when you open your eyes, keep that warm contentment experienced within as you look out with soft eyes at others and sense the radiantly accepting experience that is there.
Let’s blooming blossom
Do you deal with people-problems? I am looking for individuals who do, to let them know about the book I wrote: Introducing Psychopathology
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama
If it rains on July 15, it is said that what follows is forty days of bad weather; that’s superstition for you … I am not superstitious.
Evidence is a different matter, and that is what my books are based on. The latest three this year are: Generalised Anxiety Disorder Self-help: how to get rid of uncontrollable worry
Anxiety, Self-help for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: workbook for OCD
Anxiety Disorder, Self-help for Panic Attack: workbook for panic attacks
These three are part of a series of seven books that I am writing on specific anxiety disorders. If you share the information, it is likely that the books will reach those who need help so they can be supported in an evidence-based way.
Transmit pleasure to those who are near you.
We can find recipes for eating healthy foods. Let’s enjoy our labours. Delight in what’s cooked.
This is what Arthur said
’Talent hits a target no one else can hit; genius hits a target that no one else can see.’ Arthur Schopenhauer (19 century German philosopher)
A flowering is happening. This is special! Play helps us bloom. How about using my award-winning book Special Games?
Why might the blossoming not be happening? You may find an explanation in Introducing Psychopathology
‘Love is to accept bitter with the sweet, dark with the light, pain with the pleasure, all with equanimity.’ Satish Kumar
Self-disclosing is a strong glue for friendship.
Lonely? Share your thoughts and emotions, not necessarily with a therapist. Harmlessly expressing ourselves is therapeutic. Feeling panicky? Look at my self-help book for panic attacks, it’s available immediately now.
Self-disclosing is a strong glue for friendship.
Lonely? Share your thoughts and emotions, not necessarily with a therapist. Harmlessly expressing ourselves is therapeutic. Feeling panicky? Look at my self-help book for panic attacks, it’s available immediately so you can buy now.
Action with hope
With hope in the heart and a clear mind, put vision into action.
Heart, mind, love and psychopathology
There is such joy in giving service with pure love. The older generation can be amazing role models for the younger. We can have a blissful community. What’s needed is emotional literacy. If you deal with young people, I invite you to see my Talking is for All http://www.uk.sagepub.com/books/Book230826
Thank you, to those who offered me such positive feedback on these and for the encouragement to pass on the information.
“Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.”
What a miserable quote – don’t believe it. We never know what the future holds.
Juno’s month. Juno is the goddess of marriage and the well-being of womankind.
Ladies, there is no need to function as many do, with a continual low level of anxiety which can so easily lead to a panic attack, or OCD or one the other anxiety disorders. Usually, anxiety is a learned behaviour so a different, healthier type of behaviour can be learned and used; even for a severe anxiety disorder! Often, an individual who is anxious has grown up in a household where a family member had anxiety. For self-help, see my series of books on anxiety, for example: Anxiety, Self-help for Obsessive Compulsive Disorderworkbook for OCD Here is the link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Anxiety-Self-help-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-ebook/dp/B00WDD5WHI/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1432891058&sr=8-4&keywords=betty+rudd
and: Anxiety Disorder: Self-help for Panic Attack
workbook for panic attacks Here is the link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Anxiety-Disorder-Self-help-workbook-Self-Help-ebook/dp/B00X2ODGHK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1432891058&sr=8-3&keywords=betty+rudd
Like me, earth is coming to life more, with plants and new births, as day and night is more or less equal. Yet, not every individual is feeling pleasure at this time, because of stress. Distress is part of the experience of being human. Psychopathologising it is unnecessary. However, worrying too much can lead to on-going anxiety. For more on this, see a book of mine, such as the fourth one in the series on anxiety disorders (it’s on panic attacks); here is the link:
I’m looking for your views on this.
Let our light grow.
I’ve a renewed sense of energy during spring. Do you? My enthusiasm’s returned! Yet, I feel for my friend who forgets.
Memory can play tricks on us:
Where did you put the keys? Mislaid the mobile? Where are those glasses? So many of us start to forget, as we get older. Here are seven tips that the Mayo Clinic says are good for sharpening the memory:
1 Keep active mentally
2 Engage in social interaction regularly
3 Be organised
4 Have adequate sleep
5 Eat healthily
6 Move physically, every day
7 Take good care of your self on an on-going basis
I’ve written a section focusing on memory, in my latest book that Sage (in London) published. The title is ‘Introducing Psychopathology’.
By the way, irrespective of memory, how’s your enthusiasm at this time of year?
According to The Mental Health Foundation statistics, the UK has one of the highest rates of self-harm in Europe. Sadly, they state that some research indicates that UK has the very highest rates of self-harming; for example, one young person in every fifteen. What do you think might help?
and who’ll let me have their views, which may be included in a book I’m co-writing (you’ll be acknowledged if I use what you say).
The cherry on the cake
Daily: have fun, exercise, see the daylight, connect with at least one other like-minded person, deal with stress levels appropriately, eat nutritiously, drink water, sleep well and have an overall positive attitude with compassion in your heart for self and others, for better health and longer life. The cherry on the cake is that living like this, also has a pleasant knock-on effect for others!
Tremendous activity inside my brain sometimes hinders my writing because of wanting a cuppa or some fresh air or to tidy up a bit: Mentally, I’m dashing around.
Heaviness too, can get in the way, especially after lunch, when a sort of cloud seems to be in my brain and seeing the wood from the trees is effortful: As if mentally wading through mud.
Oh but at other times when writing my book, I experience clarity, effortlessness when time stands still and words flow accurately. At these times I think clearly, stay focussed, research effectively. Bliss!
How is it for you?
http://www.uk.sagepub.com/textbooks/Book238952. Just to state what may seem obvious – although non-judgemental acceptance with warmth is sorely needed; it is still necessary to have preferences. With preference comes free choice, so I invite each of us not to prefer judgemental punishment, but to choose humaneness.
Wretched and gleeful
If we’re not yet dead, we experience suffering; but we can also let joys in life, enter us. Let’s be mindful of what’s happening, now. I helped create Mindful Moments (here’s the link: http://www.speechmark.net/mindful-moments) for this.
When we create inner peace and surroundings conducive to helping us calm the mind, it is easier to make ourselves feel less distressed and move forward from painful negative experiences that we easily bounce back to. Creating daily spaces of inner haven for our own selves is possible. Sometimes, it’s helpful understanding how the mind works in order to choose the best way forward from the available banquet of possibilities; so I invite you to see my book: ‘Introducing Psychopathology’
Oh, let’s draw on spring’s regenerative growth, annually – glean renewed hope from it.
After the celebrations that happened on the first of May (or May Day), warmer weather is here and flowers are around. I trust that you, like me, delight in the blossoming of trees. We humans can bloom at this time too. Far too many of us are anxiety-riddled. That’s why I’m writing the anxiety self-help series of books. Here are links to my latest two (this one’s for OCD:
The following is for panic attacks
If you can share the information here with others who might benefit or know someone who can be helped, I’d appreciate it very much.
· Focus on love
· Dream love
· Breath love
· Be love
· Spread love
· Love those others consider unlovable
· Love unconditionally, not because it’s deserved
· Even love sacrificially
· Love joyfully
· Love each other with no strings attached
What Albert said
‘If we knew what we were doing, we wouldn’t call it research.’ Einstein
Now it’s launched, my fourth book in the series of six on anxiety. The focus of this one is a self-help book for panic attacks. Please can you help me share this news? Here’s the link:
I’m now launching my fourth self-help book in the series of six on anxiety, ‘Anxiety Disorder: Self-help for Panic Attack workbook for panic attacks’; Please share the link with those who may find it useful:
launching self-help book on panic attack very soon – can be pre-ordered, just follow this link:
At last I’ve finished THE fourth book in the anxiety self-help series of six (this one’s on panic attacks). It one can be pre-ordered, here’s the link (please share):
Heaven or hell, compassion or torture
A volcano of love erupts when my grandchild is born! Health improves while emotional wounds start healing. Astonishing! With crisis comes opportunity. I live in hope that each of us on this earth, live a life with a less tortured mind and a more compassionate heart. If you want to know how, perhaps my Introducing Psychopathology can help. (Here’s the link: http://www.uk.sagepub.com/textbooks/Book238952).
Individually, we can choose whether to create a living heaven or hell. ‘… We cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself …’
This is part of President Barack Obama’s inaugural address that inspired me – passionately. It strengthens my understanding of needing more compassion from each of us, for all; rather than judging another individual as if we are God.
Let’s keep our minds healthy by exercising them.
Mental exercise is just as important as physical.
Dr Doigne reminds us of the mind’s ability to heal and regenerate at a cellular level, after noticing reversal of Parkinson’s disease via exercising.
What excites me is a main study at Cardiff University where 2,000 middle- aged individuals were observed for over 30 years: Findings showed that the non-smokers, those who hardly drank any alcohol, had a normal body mass index or a little below (but not lower than 18), exercised (for example walked every day for a total of over one mile) and consumed a healthy diet (including at least 3.5 portions of daily fruit and veg) lowered their rate of mental decline by a significant 60%.
We have self-healing abilities
Unleash your self-healing powers.
Anxiety, Self-help for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
workbook for OCD
THIS BOOK IS NOW LAUNCHED:
Launching new self-help book for individuals suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder:
Soon to be launched, my third book of the series on anxiety disorders:
Anxiety, Self-help for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder workbook for OCD
Stressed to death and want to live?
Please: pass on this information to those it might help.
For trainee health carers and professionals, peers tell me that my Introducing Psychopathology is very useful, that many university lecturers in psychology and related topics are now including this in their students’ reading lists. Here’s a link: http://www.uk.sagepub.com/textbooks/Book238952.
on what you want
Put your thoughts on what you want, rather than anxiety-provoking negativity. What we focus on grows, having an effect on individuals and society as a whole. Each of us – we are all connected. When another’s suffering, just reach out. When joyful, share that delight. Let your light shine. Forgive injury!
As counselling psychologist, Dr Wayne Dyer says, ‘Love.’
I remember my mother as the epitome of love. Yes, like all humans, she had her flaws. But, I’m blessed because her love is the legacy she’s left me, that lives on and radiates to others. Loving comes so naturally. It’s unforced. Yet, there’s such power there!
This may be a good month (neither too hot nor too cold) for going to Arts & Crafts Fairs. If you DIY arty-crafty stuff it can boost good mental health (even reduce anxiety) and inspire creativity.
If you tend to be anxious, you may like to try something artistic and get support from my new self-help book:
Generalised Anxiety Disorder Self Help: how to get rid of uncontrollable worry [Kindle Edition].
Here’s a link to it:
(I’m looking for individuals to share this link in order to spread the news about self-help for GAD.)
With my own clients: The fuller my empathy (which I can explain as less of a technique learnt but more as something in my very blood) the more insight into their feelings and experiences. Empathy is communicated via spontaneity’s idiosyncratic way (rather than in the fashion I have been taught, which is by using a technique). Indeed, I do not go along with the notion that teaching a therapist how to be empathic by using a technique is the best way of achieving it.
Seven DO NOT rules to live by
1. DO NOT smoke.
2. DO NOT binge drink.
3. DO NOT consume refined sugar.
4. DO NOT snore in your loved-one’s ear.
5. DO NOT quit your job without having another to go to.
6. DO NOT be on the wrong side of the law.
7. DO NOT forget to look in the mirror and say to yourself with a smile, ‘I love you!’
How can we unleash our hidden talents? Might it be to try something new, say, fortnightly, as well as do what we like to do and perhaps build on what we find easy-peasy? Release creativity!
Best way to learn?
I like learning and so an article on acquiring knowledge caught my interest. It’s by science correspondent E.Young who states that these are the optimum ways of memorising information:
1 If a senior citizen, the best time to learn is from 8.30 am to 10.30 am but younger individuals do better at 3.00 pm; sleeping at night fortifies the learning for all.
2 It is best to test ourselves on what we are learning, rather than just read the material without self-testing.
3 Learning can happen if we have a recording to listen to of what needs to be learnt, while we perform a menial task such as peeling vegetables (this is called Passive Learning).
4 Be in an environment that can distract from what needs to be focussed on; in this way, if what we have to remember is needed when we are in a distracting environment, such as in a busy mall, it will be easier for us to recollect than if we learn the required information in a quiet place.
5 Find a buddy to share your learning, after you have studied alone; exchange and pool knowledge you both have then return to working alone (this is very helpful for tests or examinations).
6 Enjoy video games because if learning to type or play an instrument, co-ordinating mind with movement is a necessity; which is what happens when playing video games.
7 Relaxing improves memory so after a while take a complete break from what is being learnt, before coming back to it; keeping going for a long time without a real break is not as productive as having a lie-down or doing something completely different interspersed within a focus-on-learning period.
8 Imagine that you must teach what you are learning; this is a great learning-tool.
9 Space your learning, that is, rather than spending ages going over the same thing repeatedly, have gaps of, say, a couple of days at a time before each revision study period.
10 Get on with what you have to learn, rather than procrastinate, but if you have procrastinated, simply forgive yourself and have the willpower to make the effort of learning; exercising your will power improves it so you can make headway in other areas, apart from what you set out to learn, such as having a better posture or a tidier home.
There are other ways to improve ways of learning too (not mentioned by Ms Young); if you wish you can contact me about them.
Generalised Anxiety Disorder Self-help how to get rid of uncontrolable worry
I’m delighted to say that the second book in the anxiety disorder self-help series -it’s on GAD- will be available as a kindle edition from Amazon this month … just watch this space and I’ll let you know when it’s published!
soft heart hard world
As my friend Mooneagle says: keep your heart soft in a hard world.
MENTAL DISTRESS! Oh! Silent screaming!
Is someone you know distressed? You can help by finding out about the problem. Get support, perhaps from books or someone you know or elsewhere. Be realistic about what can and cannot change. Accept help when offered. Share your concerns. Do not isolate yourself.
How can we get a handle on distress?
Here are some of ththoughts: Help lower the pressure that stress exerts by exercising – walking is good.
Also, manage your time in a good-enough way so that what you consider as the day’s priority gets done.
Being able to say ‘No’ and express your own self assertively, showing respect for yourself while respecting the other person, is important too.
Crucially, know how to regulate your emotions so that you can ‘bounce’ back through adversity; this is a main reason that I created Rainbow (here’s the link:)
Remember to do some daily movement as well.
a practical resource.
Reverberating with Dr Bloom
I resonate harmoniously with William Bloom’s concept: connect, reflect, serve. How about you?
Sooner rather than later: Easter time
Reflecting on the last week of Jesus’ life: He was such a contentious figure, that officials were cynical about his claims. Although many welcomed him while he rode into the city (Jerusalem) on a donkey, some in the cheering crowds may have included the same people who also, just days later, yelled for him to be put to death. What can we learn from this? Whatever it is, Easter is a significant festival, bursting with symbolism. Eggs, symbolising re-birth. The bunny, symbolising fertility. Chocolate-easter-eggs, symbolising Jesus’ resurrection. Hot-cross-buns, with the cross symbolising the cross and each quarter of the bun representing the moon’s quarters. Interesting because many of these traditions date back to pre-Christian times.
Custom has to be considered because of cultural diversity in different lands. How can it be ethical not doing so? I remember flying to Cyprus and finding a little place to rent in the Larnaka district. The neighbours came with savoury food and sweet dishes that they must have spent hours cooking, to say ‘hello’, ‘welcome’ and introduce themselves. The story is different in UK, when I moved from one area of southern England to another. I felt very lonely and cut off, because nobody bothered to even make eye contact, let alone bring over any food, say ‘welcome’ or ‘hello’; certainly, I made friends, but it took a while longer. The immediate warmth towards me as a stranger in one country, compared to the reserved coolness in another, is only one cultural difference. There are many.That’s why my book British Table Manners (here’s the link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/British-Table-Manners-Betty-Rudd-ebook/dp/B00DF7ZVK4) only focuses on Britain. There are cultural differences in what’s considered as good or bad mental health, too. I deal with this, and the whole continuum from poor overall health to robust optimum wellness in Introducing Psychopathology, with a spotlight on our mind. Here’s the link: http://www.uk.sagepub.com/textbooks/Book238952
We can heal, endure and even go to a better place beyond endurance.
I am looking for people who know any stressed-out individuals, so that they can be helped by the first anxiety book I wrote for aiding those who worry too much: Anxiety Disorder Self-help
Hope the link works!
This is a kindle edition and will be released in paperback later this month.
Relationship is key
An empathic relationship is therapeutic. I can say this not only as a psychologist, but also as someone who was receiving therapy for a long time, even before seeing my first client or reading the works of wise others in the field of psychological work such as Rogers, Mearns and Thorne about the importance of empathy.
Is it considered loving to be polite?
Here are my top ten tips on good British manners. Although considered polite, they do not necessarily convey love:
1. Say ‘please’ when asking for something.
2. Say ‘thank you’ whenever something is done for you or given to you.
3. Say ‘excuse me’ if you want to catch the attention of anyone.
4. Say ‘sorry’ if you are in anybody’s way or you touch someone accidentally.
5. Do not touch anyone inappropriately.
6. Ask ‘I beg your pardon?’ if you cannot hear what someone says.
7. Do not start eating until your host starts or you are given permission to do so.
8. Do not stick your rear-end near anybody’s face.
9. Do not slam your front door loudly, immediately after a visitor leaves your home.
10. Refrain from interrupting a person who is speaking.
There is an English (sexist) saying, ‘Manners maketh man’. Politeness can be used in a crazy sort of way. With tongue in cheek, this is where two books I wrote that seem unrelated, can be seen as linked (British Table Manners and Introducing Psychopathology).
How to praise a child makes an important difference
Focus on actions when praising children, such as commenting on their strategies; for example, ‘I really liked the way you stayed in to work on your English project and persevered until you finished it – you kept your concentration even though your friends wanted you to go out with them.’ This type of praise cultivates credence and initiative.
What you say makes a huge difference because if your praise is unspecific, for example: ‘You’re a good mathematician’ (suggesting a fixed characteristic) it can undermine a child’s performance.
Therefore, word your praises carefully, so that the spotlight is on process!
Watch this space because my new paperback book is coming out soon: ANXIETY DISORDER SELF-HELP.
How do we connect heart with mind?
Share love with an open mind and a pure heart. Genuinely interact. With loving relationships, we can survive; and go beyond survival.
You may like to see:
Showing love might sound easy, but many have trouble showing their emotions in a respectful way. There are untold reasons for this. Some may say, that psychopathology comes into it. You can make up your own mind; see my Introducing Psychopathology http://www.uk.sagepub.com/booksProdDesc.nav?prodId=Book238952
Your comments are welcome. I’ll look out for them.
Developing personally and socially go hand-in-hand. As we become more aware, we are more mindful of the here-and-now of our own life as well as that of the other person’s, leading to respectful interactions. So, dealing with the immediacy of emotions is crucial. It was Professor Williams of Duke University Medical Center who said, ‘If we could teach people how to deal with the negative emotions which seem to be keeping them from realizing the potential that love might have to offer, then love might have a better chance to grow and heal, not only ourselves, but those we love.’ With this in mind, let compassion, for self and others, openly keep flowing.
Simply: I do not know how to put right, a particular state of affairs; I submit the issue to that energy which takes care of me while I slumber.
Happy Valentine’s day
Saint Valentine is the patron saint of a happy marriage.
When the journey through life gets tough, anxiety can overwhelm us. I’ve written how to bust anxiety, in detail, in this workbook (one of a series of six): ‘Anxiety Disorder Self-help’ (here’s the link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/anxiety-disorder-self-help-Anxiety-Disorder-ebook/dp/B00P53YMY2). Very useful for de-stressing and learning, step by step, how to buffer against ever feeling overwhelmingly anxious. Now, I’m still writing the second book, it’s nearly ready.
My top twelve anxiety-busting tips (apart from loving):
1. Do some movement (twenty minutes or more daily to get those feel-good endorphins flowing)
2. Go outdoors and look at nature (seeing green living plants is good for us)
3. Be aware of your breathing. Breathing in a balanced way has a regulating effect
4. Do something just because you like doing it and for no other reason. (This is a great way of de-stressing)
5. Eat nutritiously. This helps with overall wellness
6. Have a positive attitude. (A tendency towards negativity can induce anxiety)
7. Connect with at least one other person
8. Take some daily time out for yourself, at least ten minutes
9. Walk in the sunlight, every day if possible
10. Have adequate sleep
11. Be well-hydrated with water
12. Laugh out loud
Loving is intimate and heals powerfully because if brings meaning to living.
Do we know whether we smell sweet or if we’re welcome? Promoting personal & social development’s easy & fun
That’s why I created Rainbow (http://www.speechmark.net/rainbow-game) incorporating mini-games: Action Imagination Feeling Stimulus Talk Insight Courage. Love’s what I aspire to communicate ‘cos it heals. I respect science as a learning-instrument for what works for whom, but sometimes it’s impossible to measure (with current available tools) what’s of great importance! When we meet to relate & listen to one another, the sense of togetherness & witnessing is tremendously healing.
Developing personally can be a way of life. Allow all individuals the opportunity for personal growth. This is not about navel-gazing. It’s about supporting one another with warm respect so we can all have a safe space to be.
Do you look after children? Are you a mum or a dad? Be aware of the power of emotions. Whether they make or break a person depends on emotional literacy…
Ten areas of emotional literacy need nurturing in our young:
i focusing on the emotions behind their actions
ii being interested in their curiosity
iii ensure that they are seeing the whole picture
iv help them in taking responsibility for the environment
v facilitating them in being self-aware
vi understanding that you (the parent) can make a difference in your child’s life
vii respecting others
viii intervening in good time
ix owning up to your own feelings
x allowing others to be different
It is not about doing.
It is about understanding what you are feeling and knowing how to express this in a healthy way; as well as hearing what others have to say and realising what their emotions are.